Well I've always had a difficult relationship with my mother in the past, before I was saved I used to lose my temper with her because she didn't have the best parenting skills and she isn't a Christian so her morals are not always there. Recently I have been having a good relationship with her, but today out of the blue she told me because me and my sister don't get along, that I am not allowed round her house to visit her, I live by myself. Was this right of her to do this? It has made me depressed and angry and I don't know if I should walk away completely or accept this new rule. Myself and my sister are both adults, when I've gone round to visit my mother before my sister has shut herself away in her room, so apparently because she doesn't want to keep hiding from me I am now not allowed round. Is this right, is this fair? Is this the correct way of solving a sibling conflict? I was almost going to do something stupid and get myself arrested because this makes me very sad that I can no longer go there when my sister is there, she's in university but go's home for the holidays. I am posting on these forums because I want to know what Christians think about this, was this right way of dealing with it? As a bible believing Christian family is very important to me, but I don't think we can ever be a normal family. I am 21 years old, I have no girlfriend and I feel alone. I feel so sad that I don't know what to do.
Well, first of all, I am sorry that this happened. You said things were going good with your Mom and that your relationship with her is improving. So in light of that, and the biblical command to honor your mother (and father), I would say respect her wishes. You could always say something like, Mom I'm a little startled and sad by your new rule that I not visit because sister and I don't get along, BUT I'm happy to honor your rule Mom. You could mention that you are happy to follow her request because you thought things were getting better between you and she, and you won't do anything to jeopardize that. Perhaps you can visit when sister is away at school, or perhaps you and she can meet somewhere for coffee or tea and visit. Ask your mom how she would feel about that. Perhaps you could pray and ask the Lord how to move forward with reconciling and making amends, where possible, with your sister as well. Remember, that not everyone is willing and ready to forgive at the same time, but at least you can put it out there. I hope that you will draw come comfort from your church family during this time. I have come to realize that there are no perfect families and our families can really hurt us. Thank God for friends, and I pray that you will make at least one good Christian friend soon.
EB "In the Essentials, Unity; In the Non-Essentials, Liberty; In All Things: Charity."
-usually Attributed to St. Augustine, but quite possibly Peter Meiderlin