With reasoning like that I can't see any scenario where enough light could get to your mind that can ever help you. It is tragic, I think, but presenting a scriptural argument to you would be a waste of time. Having said that, my advice to you is carry on and do the best you can.You are barking up the wrong tree with that one. My argument is not that anybody can "lose their salvation". My argument is that nobody has it in this life to be able to lose it. According to the words of Jesus, "salvation" is something that is obtained in the next life after one has "endured to the end" in this life. The purpose of this life is to "endure to the end". Salvation and eternal life is reserved for the next life, not this one.