I have some sympathy with what you say. What do you regard as the criteria for personhood?It would be much easier to wash out cells if they were not referred to as a baby. No matter what those cells are called, they are still unique in their DNA, alive, and human. They merely aren't persons.
While abortion is not legally murder, it is still the destruction of human life. Whether or not it's a person depends on the stage of development.
Not wanting a baby wouldn't make a female any less pregnant. It's a biological state. Form the moment of conception it's human and alive, only personhood would require development as a criterion.