If God Were Married

5

5wize

Well-known member
Those of us with wives, wives that are the mothers of our children, know this all too well. After all the superficial arguments over what curtains to hang in Eden and whether any of the animals are allowed in the house, much less up on the furniture, I’m sure, given the events that eventually transpired, their first substantial argument probably would have went something like this:

Mrs. G: He’s just a boy.

G: What was the 1 thing I told him not to do?

Mrs. G: You could have taught him.

G: He didn’t need to know that. This place is too dangerous for him. He cannot stay here.

Mrs G: What are you afraid of?

G: All the damage he can do, to himself, to us, to this place. I just can’t bear to watch that happen.

Mrs. G: Me too G. Welcome to parenthood. It’s a 24/7 nightmare of worry. All the small things, all the big things, the small social hurts, the broken hearts, the illnesses, the accidents, the nights they don’t come home. The youthful experimentation, the defiance, it’s all part of the deal G. It's like we have to go through it all again, but this time with them. He needs us just for that reason. You can’t just give up. It’s called love, you invented it, and it’s worth it.

G: NO!. I told him not to do that.

Mrs. G: So what are you going to do? Run away? Hide? Remove the problem because you can’t handle it? Look, he's scared. He's hiding. He knows he did wrong and he's sorry.

G: He can’t stay here.

Mrs G: You coward you… you complete coward.

That's what the girl that I married would tell me. The world would be a better place if God were married.
 
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Mr Laurier

Mr Laurier

Well-known member
Jehovah/Yahweh was married.
His wife, Asherah, was the Queen of Heaven. And also the goddess of the sea, and of trees and forests.
Its a shame the judeo/christian/islamic complex swept her under the rug
 
5

5wize

Well-known member
Mr Laurier said:
Jehovah/Yahweh was married.
His wife, Asherah, was the Queen of Heaven. And also the goddess of the sea, and of trees and forests.
Its a shame the judeo/christian/islamic complex swept her under the rug
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Well that explains a lot. We are the children of a broken home. See how the children of divorce always tend to blame themselves. It really wasn't our fault.

I wonder why He got custody.
 
CrowCross

CrowCross

Super Member
5wize said:
Well that explains a lot. We are the children of a broken home. See how the children of divorce always tend to blame themselves. It really wasn't our fault.

I wonder why He got custody.
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....Still trying to deny your sin nature???
 
5

5wize

Well-known member
CrowCross said:
....Still trying to deny your sin nature???
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Sorry, no time for sin today. Cooking breakfast for the family. Then I have to help with a horse show. Can't be thinking about too much sinning with tons of animals to keep safe and get ready (not planning on stealing a horse). Then the wife and I will probably go shopping for groceries (shoplifting not in the plan). Then I have to fix the exterior bathroom wall where the shower had been leaking for a while so a visit to Home Depot is in my future. No sin to get into there (probably a bit of vocal exasperation though). Then I'll cook dinner. I actually do all the cooking for my family. Not a lot of opportunities to defile God in my kitchen. Wife and I will probably go for a walk then where I won't throw any rocks in anybody's windows. We'll pour a couple of vodka tonics to relax, watch some T.V.... go to bed. Not a lot of sinning crossing my mind lately.

What kind of life do you lead where all this sinning is nipping at you? You need to get busy.
 
T

The Pixie

Well-known member
Sorry if this is a little off-topic.
Mr Laurier said:
Jehovah/Yahweh was married.
His wife, Asherah, was the Queen of Heaven. And also the goddess of the sea, and of trees and forests.
Its a shame the judeo/christian/islamic complex swept her under the rug
Click to expand...
In another sense - possibly later theology, but still pre-captivity - he was married to the tribe of the Hebrews. The covenant was understood as a kind of marriage contract, and Yahweh got angry with them for worshipping other gods because they were being unfaithful, committing adultery.

These verses are talking about the tribe, not a woman.

Ezekiel 16:6 “When I passed by you and saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!’ 7 I made you [d]numerous like plants of the field. Then you grew up, became tall and reached the age for fine ornaments; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown. Yet you were naked and bare.​
8 “Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, [e]you were at the time for love; so I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. I also swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that you became Mine,” declares the Lord God. 9 “Then I bathed you with water, washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil.​
...​
15 “But you trusted in your beauty and played the harlot because of your fame, and you poured out your harlotries on every passer-by [f]who might be willing. 16 You took some of your clothes, made for yourself high places of various colors and played the harlot on them, [g]which should never come about nor happen. 17 You also took your beautiful [h]jewels made of My gold and of My silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself male images that you might play the harlot with them.​
 
5

5wize

Well-known member
CrowCross said:
....Still trying to deny your sin nature???
Click to expand...
Too busy living a life aligned with the good to think too much about sinning. Why are you so susceptible to sin? You think bad thoughts all the time? You need to get busy putting good things in your life to maintain. Keeps you away from this sin merry-go-round you seem to be on.
 
5

5wize

Well-known member
CrowCross said:
You've been posting here for how long? And you still have to ask what mans sin nature is????
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We know it's something you have a continual problem with. I'm glad you found Christianity to help you keep it at bay, but you still seem a bit obsessed. The rest of us just live right and adhere to its own reward.
 
A

Authentic Nouveau

Well-known member
5wize said:
We know it's something you have a continual problem with. I'm glad you found Christianity to help you keep it at bay, but you still seem a bit obsessed. The rest of us just live right and adhere to its own reward.
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Why do you seem obsessed?

What do you offer as evidence of living right?

What are your plans for your sins?
 
SteveB

SteveB

Well-known member
5wize said:
Those of us with wives, wives that are the mothers of our children, know this all too well. After all the superficial arguments over what curtains to hang in Eden and whether any of the animals are allowed in the house, much less up on the furniture, I’m sure, given the events that eventually transpired, their first substantial argument probably would have went something like this:

Mrs. G: He’s just a boy.

G: What was the 1 thing I told him not to do?

Mrs. G: You could have taught him.

G: He didn’t need to know that. This place is too dangerous for him. He cannot stay here.

Mrs G: What are you afraid of?

G: All the damage he can do, to himself, to us, to this place. I just can’t bear to watch that happen.

Mrs. G: Me too G. Welcome to parenthood. It’s a 24/7 nightmare of worry. All the small things, all the big things, the small social hurts, the broken hearts, the illnesses, the accidents, the nights they don’t come home. The youthful experimentation, the defiance, it’s all part of the deal G. It's like we have to go through it all again, but this time with them. He needs us just for that reason. You can’t just give up. It’s called love, you invented it, and it’s worth it.

G: NO!. I told him not to do that.

Mrs. G: So what are you going to do? Run away? Hide? Remove the problem because you can’t handle it? Look, he's scared. He's hiding. He knows he did wrong and he's sorry.

G: He can’t stay here.

Mrs G: You coward you… you complete coward.

That's what the girl that I married would tell me. The world would be a better place if God were married.
Click to expand...

You haven't actually read the bible have you?

God was married, and then had a divorce.

6 The LORD said also to me in the days of Josiah the king: “Have you seen what backsliding Israel has done? She has gone up on every high mountain and under every green tree, and there played the harlot. 7 And I said, after she had done all these things, ‘Return to Me.’ But she did not return. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also. 9 So it came to pass, through her casual harlotry, that she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10 And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah has not turned to Me with her whole heart, but in pretense,” says the LORD.

11 Then the LORD said to me, “Backsliding Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah. 12 Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say:

You should also read the book of Hosea.
 
5

5wize

Well-known member
SteveB said:
You haven't actually read the bible have you?

God was married, and then had a divorce.

6 The LORD said also to me in the days of Josiah the king: “Have you seen what backsliding Israel has done? She has gone up on every high mountain and under every green tree, and there played the harlot. 7 And I said, after she had done all these things, ‘Return to Me.’ But she did not return. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also. 9 So it came to pass, through her casual harlotry, that she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10 And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah has not turned to Me with her whole heart, but in pretense,” says the LORD.

11 Then the LORD said to me, “Backsliding Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah. 12 Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say:

You should also read the book of Hosea.
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LoL... I don't think Israel and Judea were around to have an argument about Adam.

You crack me up.
 
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