The approach I take is that each Verse is as potent as the other Verse. At CARM, we tend to Pretext and say 'My Verse is better than your Verse'. I know; we would never say this, but it is what's happening. My approach is to believe both Verses, so I think Sola Scripturists should be notorious Middle-Men as a result. The Passage in Romans 9 about Election not being of the Will, is to be held as tightly as your Verse. Instead of saying, "There's no place like Home!" over and over again; you should be saying "There's no Will in Election" over and over again too. To not tout this as much, is Special Pleading when you ignore it...
The same goes for me; if I ignore that we're Chosen through Belief in the Truth, I'm making a Case based on Special Pleading. Calvinists believe the same as you; just more. What needs to be integrated is 'the more'. Things like ' not of the Will'...
I suggest this approach to you...