You are a funny characterYes... Your irrational blatherings ARE "too hard to figure out".
The fact that you can't explain what you mean is proof of that.
You could not figure out the meaning of world in John 3:16
You can't figure new birth, born again suggests the onset of new life
You can't figure a man's will is not external to himself
You can't figure out a change was instituted at the cross
and you want to call others irrational
Give it up
Lexicons, Systematic theologies, scripture are all against you
and you can't deal with argumentation