My Mom

jonathan_hili

Well-known member
A reasonably functional otherwise dementia patient has appeared to have suffered a stroke. We are headed to the emergency room. Please pray for us, thank you!!!

Nic🙂
God be with you and your family, Nic. I hope she gets through it okay.
 

John t

Super Member
Aneurysm is what my 22 YO daughter died from 6 weeks after child birth. It was a serious situation, as is your mom's. Both stroke and aneurysm involve blood flow. The first is a blood clot that cuts off supply of blood and O2, and the latter is a bleed out.

In all of this, TRUST GOD. He is good, and He knows what He is doing. Sometimes, that is all we have to cling to when we do not know the future.
 

Nic

Well-known member
I'm sorry about the lack of updates. I've been a bit or more discouraged with how poorly the hospital communicates and even more so how poorly they do what they say they will do. Their result of treatment seems to be worse than the result for when I inadverdently treated the same thing months earlier. Months earlier I knew mom's kidneys were bleeding so I added Vit. K and removed all latex foods, Vit. E and aspirin from her regimen. Result: Mom never lost any function and recovered from an old brain bleed. This latest hospital visit was because of a new brain bleed. Take her to the hospital, result after keeping her BP around 200/95 for 4 consecutive days, mom cannot walk and has more all around problems. Home health nurse was to be out last Friday, therapy to begin Saturday and none of this ever happened. Well after a ton of hassle, a nurse showed up last night. A therapist informed me every day you mom delays in therapy is three more days of building her up. Not to mentioned the added added stress of family involvement since mom went to the hospital.
That's it for now. Thank you for your continued prayers.
 
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John t

Super Member
Thanks for the update. May God bless you and calm you in this time of distress, and worry.

You also need some one in your corner, so I ask that you "bump it up a notch" and speak to the Patient Advocate. Every hospital should have one, and they know which buttons to push, and who to contact. When you do, strongly, and nicely push for a "M and M review" of your mother's case using the phrase, "M and M review". That makes you seem to be educated in how hospitals are run, and that that you "speak their jargon".

The term "M and M review" stands for morbidity and mortality. here is a blurb from wikipedia:
M&M conferences involve the analysis of adverse outcomes in patient care, through peer review. The objectives of a well-run M&M conference are to identify adverse outcomes associated with medical error, to modify behavior and judgment based on previous experiences, and to prevent repetition of errors leading to complications.​

Physicians Weekly says this:
M&M conferences generally take place at hospitals with residency training programs and are rather specific to surgical disciplines. It is possible that they may be held in large non-teaching hospitals, but time constraints and the fact that direct attending surgeon to attending surgeon criticism in an open forum is difficult to do.​
https://www.physiciansweekly.com/morbidity-and-mortality-conference/

Therefore, these are very important things, and your requesting of them, and also requesting a personal report of the results let's the hospital that you are not messing around when it comes to your mom.

After your meeting with the Patient Advocate, and you are getting nothing, then write a letter to the executive of the hospital detailing that you spoke to such-and-such on a specific date and would appreciate his looking into the matter. Also include a summary of the meeting with the Patient Advocate.

Doing that will surely get positive results. If not, tell them to watch for your letter to the Editor in your local newspaper.

Hope all goes well for you and your mom.
 

Nic

Well-known member
Please continue your prayers, we've had some setbacks. I've been more than tired. Thank you one and all. [This is where I should of stopped.]
We've met many obstacles along the way and continue to do so. I feel like the hospital caused physical impairment, cognitive impairment and psychological damage with their so call care. I have sufficient reason to believe they wanted to sell us on surgery. It may be the best care in the world (cough, cough, cynicism intended), but it's still system filled with lots of problems. Of course not everyone is treated in the same regard. IMV, the hospital offered us 3 levels of care, neglected, more neglected and most neglected. Then they didn't even want mom to come home but try to sell us on their transitional level care facility and then onto their nursing home. When we finally began therapy, we kept hearing maybe its cognitive. I kept thinking your warm, it's psychological. They messed her up and she was terrified to walk. Fortunately for us mom believes what I tell her, and I told her the hospital was nuts and just wrong. I reminded she walked 4 or 6 weeks since her last fall before ever deciding to go to the hospital. The narrative which drove mom's fear was they repeatedly told her she had this very bad fall and she could never fall again. They said the same to my brothers and myself. My brothers wanted me to guarantee mom would never fall again and then asked me how I was going to enact that strategy. It took some doing to convince my brothers that mom needed to come home and not supplant the hospital's nursing home vacancies. I finally told them ceiling tracks and harnesses to humor them. I later told them people fall all the time in the facilities they are talking about and that it's against the law to put up both side rails on the beds in the event of fire.
Moving forward...
Mom exceeded many goals while lagging behind cognitively thanks to their induced congestive heart failure with 30 -35lbs of fluid they put on her and did nothing about it for 4 or 5 days until 4 or 6 hrs before discharge. Of course now I get lecture about how serious 2 pounds a water up or down in a day puts too much stress on the heart. Which I find comical coming from their 4 gallons in 4 hrs rate of water urine voiding they put my mom through. I told them repeatedly she needed to get that water off it was way too much and I've never seen mom like that and this would have never happened on my watch. They ignored me. They tell me mom has this history. I said no she doesn't. Her former doctor told tried to throw that label on mom and was subsequently fired for being inattentive and a jerk. Mom had reasons for her legs swelling, let's say it together, deep varicose veins, coupled with a serious infection in her leg and we left the compression socks off so the doc could see what was going on. But he refused to listen. More than once a jerk. But I digress.... Oh and the year before, I flat out ased mom's cardiologist if mom had congestive heart failure because mom has had these leg swelling issues for many years. He said he eliminated that already and she did not have CHF. He specifically looked for that and mom has worn monitors twice for him since under his care. The vascular doctor told us the answers we were looking for, inoperative deep varicose veins causing bilateral leg swelling.
Then after the discharge one of the nurses who came to the house defended their actions in the hospital setting, I laughed again thinking your heart doesn't know if its at home or in the hospital what a crock! I'll stop now, I haven't even begun to scratch the surface, except of course the sin and rebellion in my heart which led me to this vent this public thrashing. I know better, but I did it anyway, may God forgive me. And most of all restore my mother.
 
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John t

Super Member
It is my opinion that you may need to consult a lawyer or the local District Attorney.

I believe that the lawyer should be specializing in personal injury and elder abuse.

Look for a message from me, discussing some things which I will not mention on an open board
 

RiJoRi

Well-known member
Please continue your prayers, we've had some setbacks. I've been more than tired. Thank you one and all. [This is where I should of stopped.]
We've met many obstacles along the way and continue to do so. I feel like the hospital caused physical impairment, cognitive impairment and psychological damage with their so call care. I have sufficient reason to believe they wanted to sell us on surgery. It may be the best care in the world (cough, cough, cynicism intended), but it's still system filled with lots of problems. Of course not everyone is treated in the same regard. IMV, the hospital offered us 3 levels of care, neglected, more neglected and most neglected. Then they didn't even want mom to come home but try to sell us on their transitional level care facility and then onto their nursing home. When we finally began therapy, we kept hearing maybe its cognitive. I kept thinking your warm, it's psychological. They messed her up and she was terrified to walk. Fortunately for us mom believes what I tell her, and I told her the hospital was nuts and just wrong. I reminded she walked 4 or 6 weeks since her last fall before ever deciding to go to the hospital. The narrative which drove mom's fear was they repeatedly told her she had this very bad fall and she could never fall again. They said the same to my brothers and myself. My brothers wanted me to guarantee mom would never fall again and then asked me how I was going to enact that strategy. It took some doing to convince my brothers that mom needed to come home and not supplant the hospital's nursing home vacancies. I finally told them ceiling tracks and harnesses to humor them. I later told them people fall all the time in the facilities they are talking about and that it's against the law to put up both side rails on the beds in the event of fire.
Moving forward...
Mom exceeded many goals while lagging behind cognitively thanks to their induced congestive heart failure with 30 -35lbs of fluid they put on her and did nothing about it for 4 or 5 days until 4 or 6 hrs before discharge. Of course now I get lecture about how serious 2 pounds a water up or down in a day puts too much stress on the heart. Which I find comical coming from their 4 gallons in 4 hrs rate of water urine voiding they put my mom through. I told them repeatedly she needed to get that water off it was way too much and I've never seen mom like that and this would have never happened on my watch. They ignored me. They tell me mom has this history. I said no she doesn't. Her former doctor told tried to throw that label on mom and was subsequently fired for being inattentive and a jerk. Mom had reasons for her legs swelling, let's say it together, deep varicose veins, coupled with a serious infection in her leg and we left the compression socks off so the doc could see what was going on. But he refused to listen. More than once a jerk. But I digress.... Oh and the year before, I flat out ased mom's cardiologist if mom had congestive heart failure because mom has had these leg swelling issues for many years. He said he eliminated that already and she did not have CHF. He specifically looked for that and mom has worn monitors twice for him since under his care. The vascular doctor told us the answers we were looking for, inoperative deep varicose veins causing bilateral leg swelling.
Then after the discharge one of the nurses who came to the house defended their actions in the hospital setting, I laughed again thinking your heart doesn't know if its at home or in the hospital what a crock! I'll stop now, I haven't even begun to scratch the surface, except of course the sin and rebellion in my heart which led me to this vent this public thrashing. I know better, but I did it anyway, may God forgive me. And most of all restore my mother.
Praying...
My wife went through something similar with her mom (nowheres near as bad, though), so I can sympathize.

--Rich
 

balshan

Well-known member
Please continue your prayers, we've had some setbacks. I've been more than tired. Thank you one and all. [This is where I should of stopped.]
We've met many obstacles along the way and continue to do so. I feel like the hospital caused physical impairment, cognitive impairment and psychological damage with their so call care. I have sufficient reason to believe they wanted to sell us on surgery. It may be the best care in the world (cough, cough, cynicism intended), but it's still system filled with lots of problems. Of course not everyone is treated in the same regard. IMV, the hospital offered us 3 levels of care, neglected, more neglected and most neglected. Then they didn't even want mom to come home but try to sell us on their transitional level care facility and then onto their nursing home. When we finally began therapy, we kept hearing maybe its cognitive. I kept thinking your warm, it's psychological. They messed her up and she was terrified to walk. Fortunately for us mom believes what I tell her, and I told her the hospital was nuts and just wrong. I reminded she walked 4 or 6 weeks since her last fall before ever deciding to go to the hospital. The narrative which drove mom's fear was they repeatedly told her she had this very bad fall and she could never fall again. They said the same to my brothers and myself. My brothers wanted me to guarantee mom would never fall again and then asked me how I was going to enact that strategy. It took some doing to convince my brothers that mom needed to come home and not supplant the hospital's nursing home vacancies. I finally told them ceiling tracks and harnesses to humor them. I later told them people fall all the time in the facilities they are talking about and that it's against the law to put up both side rails on the beds in the event of fire.
Moving forward...
Mom exceeded many goals while lagging behind cognitively thanks to their induced congestive heart failure with 30 -35lbs of fluid they put on her and did nothing about it for 4 or 5 days until 4 or 6 hrs before discharge. Of course now I get lecture about how serious 2 pounds a water up or down in a day puts too much stress on the heart. Which I find comical coming from their 4 gallons in 4 hrs rate of water urine voiding they put my mom through. I told them repeatedly she needed to get that water off it was way too much and I've never seen mom like that and this would have never happened on my watch. They ignored me. They tell me mom has this history. I said no she doesn't. Her former doctor told tried to throw that label on mom and was subsequently fired for being inattentive and a jerk. Mom had reasons for her legs swelling, let's say it together, deep varicose veins, coupled with a serious infection in her leg and we left the compression socks off so the doc could see what was going on. But he refused to listen. More than once a jerk. But I digress.... Oh and the year before, I flat out ased mom's cardiologist if mom had congestive heart failure because mom has had these leg swelling issues for many years. He said he eliminated that already and she did not have CHF. He specifically looked for that and mom has worn monitors twice for him since under his care. The vascular doctor told us the answers we were looking for, inoperative deep varicose veins causing bilateral leg swelling.
Then after the discharge one of the nurses who came to the house defended their actions in the hospital setting, I laughed again thinking your heart doesn't know if its at home or in the hospital what a crock! I'll stop now, I haven't even begun to scratch the surface, except of course the sin and rebellion in my heart which led me to this vent this public thrashing. I know better, but I did it anyway, may God forgive me. And most of all restore my mother.
I think sometimes it is good to vent, as it helps remove some of the stress. It seems it is hard to get some things diagnosed. One of my sons has MS it took them years to diagnosis and doctors from 5 departments in the hospital. Know that God is there with you and we are all praying for you and your family.
 

inertia

Super Member
Please continue your prayers, we've had some setbacks. I've been more than tired. Thank you one and all. [This is where I should of stopped.]
We've met many obstacles along the way and continue to do so. I feel like the hospital caused physical impairment, cognitive impairment and psychological damage with their so call care. I have sufficient reason to believe they wanted to sell us on surgery. It may be the best care in the world (cough, cough, cynicism intended), but it's still system filled with lots of problems. Of course not everyone is treated in the same regard. IMV, the hospital offered us 3 levels of care, neglected, more neglected and most neglected. Then they didn't even want mom to come home but try to sell us on their transitional level care facility and then onto their nursing home. When we finally began therapy, we kept hearing maybe its cognitive. I kept thinking your warm, it's psychological. They messed her up and she was terrified to walk. Fortunately for us mom believes what I tell her, and I told her the hospital was nuts and just wrong. I reminded she walked 4 or 6 weeks since her last fall before ever deciding to go to the hospital. The narrative which drove mom's fear was they repeatedly told her she had this very bad fall and she could never fall again. They said the same to my brothers and myself. My brothers wanted me to guarantee mom would never fall again and then asked me how I was going to enact that strategy. It took some doing to convince my brothers that mom needed to come home and not supplant the hospital's nursing home vacancies. I finally told them ceiling tracks and harnesses to humor them. I later told them people fall all the time in the facilities they are talking about and that it's against the law to put up both side rails on the beds in the event of fire.
Moving forward...
Mom exceeded many goals while lagging behind cognitively thanks to their induced congestive heart failure with 30 -35lbs of fluid they put on her and did nothing about it for 4 or 5 days until 4 or 6 hrs before discharge. Of course now I get lecture about how serious 2 pounds a water up or down in a day puts too much stress on the heart. Which I find comical coming from their 4 gallons in 4 hrs rate of water urine voiding they put my mom through. I told them repeatedly she needed to get that water off it was way too much and I've never seen mom like that and this would have never happened on my watch. They ignored me. They tell me mom has this history. I said no she doesn't. Her former doctor told tried to throw that label on mom and was subsequently fired for being inattentive and a jerk. Mom had reasons for her legs swelling, let's say it together, deep varicose veins, coupled with a serious infection in her leg and we left the compression socks off so the doc could see what was going on. But he refused to listen. More than once a jerk. But I digress.... Oh and the year before, I flat out ased mom's cardiologist if mom had congestive heart failure because mom has had these leg swelling issues for many years. He said he eliminated that already and she did not have CHF. He specifically looked for that and mom has worn monitors twice for him since under his care. The vascular doctor told us the answers we were looking for, inoperative deep varicose veins causing bilateral leg swelling.
Then after the discharge one of the nurses who came to the house defended their actions in the hospital setting, I laughed again thinking your heart doesn't know if its at home or in the hospital what a crock! I'll stop now, I haven't even begun to scratch the surface, except of course the sin and rebellion in my heart which led me to this vent this public thrashing. I know better, but I did it anyway, may God forgive me. And most of all restore my mother.
Praying now -

My mother recently survived sepsis at 87 years old. God is close, He is good and hears our prayers.
 

Nic

Well-known member
My mom is recovering from a kidney infection, we believe we are through that and beginning to move forward in dealing with life like everyone does. My mom does require my full time attention and over the years my health has declined. I have a persistent infection which will likely disrupt my mom's care. I'm my mother's link to the world. I'm taking a second antibiotic for the infection, but I may need an IV for who knows how long, maybe even surgery and yes I'm diabetic with thyroid disease. I'm sure the lists goes on. Even those two have never been formally diagnosed. It will be certain as soon as I get my labs back. But I rarely see doctors for a list of reasons, being a lifelong depressive being one of them. I would hope I could have that at home to guide over mom's care. I'm fearful she will once again be not only mismanaged but also afraid without my presence. The home IV is especially doubtful with my health status but it has happened with uninsured persons previously. Hopefully this pill will work. But I have my doubts. I do care on a lesser degree to what becomes of me, but the idea of of uninstructed, unsupervised strangers attempting to care for my mom's delicate care at this point in her life makes me quite uneasy. We had healthcare services here at the house for awhile but they were a problem with their care about half or more of the time where they seemed to place proving me wrong over and above what was best for mom. Simply put there was a preconceived overriding story that seemingly and deliberately ignored much of mom's prior history despite repeated efforts for me to explain things. When you live 50 plus years you know what storytelling smells like. I got so tired of that and the drama that entailed. Please continue lift us up. Thank you.
 
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RiJoRi

Well-known member
Yes, Nic, I will be praying for you and your Mom. My wife took care of her mom for several years. Many of the good aides moved on to better jobs. 🙄

God give you all strength,
--Rich
 

balshan

Well-known member
My mom is recovering from a kidney infection, we believe we are through that and beginning to move forward in dealing with life like everyone does. My mom does require my full time attention and over the years my health has declined. I have a persistent infection which will likely disrupt my mom's care. I'm my mother's link to the world. I'm taking a second antibiotic for the infection, but I may need an IV for who knows how long, maybe even surgery and yes I'm diabetic with thyroid disease. I'm sure the lists goes on. Even those two have never been formally diagnosed. It will be certain as soon as I get my labs back. But I rarely see doctors for a list of reasons, being a lifelong depressive being one of them. I would hope I could have that at home to guide over mom's care. I'm fearful she will once again be not only mismanaged but also afraid without my presence. The home IV is especially doubtful with my health status but it has happened with uninsured persons previously. Hopefully this pill will work. But I have my doubts. I do care on a lesser degree to what becomes of me, but the idea of of uninstructed, unsupervised strangers attempting to care for my mom's delicate care at this point in her life makes me quite uneasy. We had healthcare services here at the house for awhile but they were a problem with their care about half or more of the time where they seemed to place proving me wrong over and above what was best for mom. Simply put there was a preconceived overriding story that seemingly and deliberately ignored much of mom's prior history despite repeated efforts for me to explain things. When you live 50 plus years you know what storytelling smells like. I got so tired of that and the drama that entailed. Please continue lift us up. Thank you.

You are a caring son and your mother would know that. God is there with you and you are in our prayers.
 

Nic

Well-known member
My personal infection update: Preliminary investigation is good news, saying no infection in the bone. That's a huge praise the Lord!😀 Thank you everyone.
Edit to add:
Another more precise and more expensive test may or may not be warranted later to test that result in confirmation or denial.

Nic
 
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balshan

Well-known member
My labs came back, I'm a bit shocked by a few results. Let's just say they are much better than expected, in fact overall results were good. Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord, he answers prayers and He loves you.
 
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