I think about my life and where I am now and it has been very very painful. I am not independent and it is not for lack of trying or lack of will. I constantly face roadblocks, I want to work full time but every time I try to work like anyone else I have to deal with hostile co-workers, and health issues (both mental and physical issues) that makes things very challenging for me. When I try to work on my own, because my life is in danger all the time, I cannot interface with the public.
People are more aware of the mental health issues I have, but what people don't know is that my heart is beating much faster than it should be and this seems to be occuring continuously (my psychiatrist knows this), I have to use the bathroom often in the morning, in the day, and at night, and sometimes it is like every five or every ten minutes. I have pain in different parts of my body when I think about some things, where I feel like somebody has kept punching me hard in a particular area, I think it is body memories of abuse that has taken place previously, and I have more headaches than I normally had previously, it doesn't take much for my head to begin hurting me. I have even had to take tablets because my blood pressure was high.
Jesus Christ gave me a dream where WV said to several people angrily why my family doesn't help me? First of all my adopted parents trafficked me so they have no incentive to help me get the true help that I need. They do (my adopted parents) 'help me to go to a psychiatrist in Jamaica who has no idea that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and thinks I just have psychosis and depression. They (my adopted parents) come with me to all my appointments, pay for them, and seem very supportive of me getting help when what they have done has caused me to be mentally ill in the first place, with my psychiatrist being blissfully ignorant of this. So I am not getting treated for DID at all and this is the real reason why I continually struggle with the same issues never getting better. Additionally, I struggle with other issues because of the way people have treated me. Jamaican psychiatrists I know cannot help me with DID at all.
I also went to a specialist doctor in regards to my having to use the bathroom often, he asked me how many times I have to use the bathroom at night, and when I told him the number of times, he said that wasn't true, he didn't believe me, and on his record, he put a lower number than what I told him. So if the doctor does not believe me how can I get the help I need.
People are more aware of the mental health issues I have, but what people don't know is that my heart is beating much faster than it should be and this seems to be occuring continuously (my psychiatrist knows this), I have to use the bathroom often in the morning, in the day, and at night, and sometimes it is like every five or every ten minutes. I have pain in different parts of my body when I think about some things, where I feel like somebody has kept punching me hard in a particular area, I think it is body memories of abuse that has taken place previously, and I have more headaches than I normally had previously, it doesn't take much for my head to begin hurting me. I have even had to take tablets because my blood pressure was high.
Jesus Christ gave me a dream where WV said to several people angrily why my family doesn't help me? First of all my adopted parents trafficked me so they have no incentive to help me get the true help that I need. They do (my adopted parents) 'help me to go to a psychiatrist in Jamaica who has no idea that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and thinks I just have psychosis and depression. They (my adopted parents) come with me to all my appointments, pay for them, and seem very supportive of me getting help when what they have done has caused me to be mentally ill in the first place, with my psychiatrist being blissfully ignorant of this. So I am not getting treated for DID at all and this is the real reason why I continually struggle with the same issues never getting better. Additionally, I struggle with other issues because of the way people have treated me. Jamaican psychiatrists I know cannot help me with DID at all.
I also went to a specialist doctor in regards to my having to use the bathroom often, he asked me how many times I have to use the bathroom at night, and when I told him the number of times, he said that wasn't true, he didn't believe me, and on his record, he put a lower number than what I told him. So if the doctor does not believe me how can I get the help I need.
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