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Unforgiveness

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  • Unforgiveness

    Is it a sin to still be mad and hurt over something a friend did waaaaay back in high school? I had a rough end to my senior year. Instead of my bf asking me to prom, he dumped me. Then around the same time a friend dumped me to hang out with another mutual friend I’d introduced her to. I was having a lot of personal problems and these two things just made things worse. Then, to top it off, I saw her a time or two a few years later and she didn’t even bother saying “hello”.

    Fast forward 41 years later......this friend and I have become Facebook friends. She’s gotten into trouble but hopefully has changed those ways.
    Shes asked me to lunch a few times but I’ve always made excuses for why I can’t meet up with them.
    i think I did tell her once about how hurt I was when she dumped our friendship in high school.

    Now SHE is having some personal problems and last night messaged me, asking if I wanted to hang out with her and the friend I introduced her to, whom she blew me off for. I lied and said I was going out to dinner when really, I’d just come home from dinner.

    Are we called to always forgive? I don’t think I trust her due to the trouble she’d gotten into, but OTOH, her husband recently left her, she’s lonely and may possibly be having other problems. Is it It a sin to remain hurt, holding a grudge all these years? Is it a sin to not pick up the friendship?
    Sent from my iPad

  • #2
    Originally posted by Faith1960 View Post
    Is it a sin to still be mad and hurt over something a friend did waaaaay back in high school? I had a rough end to my senior year. Instead of my bf asking me to prom, he dumped me. Then around the same time a friend dumped me to hang out with another mutual friend I’d introduced her to. I was having a lot of personal problems and these two things just made things worse. Then, to top it off, I saw her a time or two a few years later and she didn’t even bother saying “hello”.

    Fast forward 41 years later......this friend and I have become Facebook friends. She’s gotten into trouble but hopefully has changed those ways.
    Shes asked me to lunch a few times but I’ve always made excuses for why I can’t meet up with them.
    i think I did tell her once about how hurt I was when she dumped our friendship in high school.

    Now SHE is having some personal problems and last night messaged me, asking if I wanted to hang out with her and the friend I introduced her to, whom she blew me off for. I lied and said I was going out to dinner when really, I’d just come home from dinner.

    Are we called to always forgive? I don’t think I trust her due to the trouble she’d gotten into, but OTOH, her husband recently left her, she’s lonely and may possibly be having other problems. Is it It a sin to remain hurt, holding a grudge all these years? Is it a sin to not pick up the friendship?
    Sent from my iPad
    Hi Faith!
    Unforgiveness is sin I suspect in all cases. However being hurt over a past event isn't by default sin. Now I suppose if being hurt was a self-indulgent way of reminding yourself why you either have trouble with forgiving someone or keeps you from forgiving someone, then in those situations I think it's safe to conclude that hurt is of selfish ambition and sin.

    That's all the time I have for now, I'll check in later.

    Nic
    1Co 1:30 And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,
    1Co 1:31 so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Faith1960 View Post
      Is it a sin to still be mad and hurt over something a friend did waaaaay back in high school? I had a rough end to my senior year. Instead of my bf asking me to prom, he dumped me. Then around the same time a friend dumped me to hang out with another mutual friend I’d introduced her to. I was having a lot of personal problems and these two things just made things worse. Then, to top it off, I saw her a time or two a few years later and she didn’t even bother saying “hello”.

      Fast forward 41 years later......this friend and I have become Facebook friends. She’s gotten into trouble but hopefully has changed those ways.
      Shes asked me to lunch a few times but I’ve always made excuses for why I can’t meet up with them.
      i think I did tell her once about how hurt I was when she dumped our friendship in high school.

      Now SHE is having some personal problems and last night messaged me, asking if I wanted to hang out with her and the friend I introduced her to, whom she blew me off for. I lied and said I was going out to dinner when really, I’d just come home from dinner.

      Are we called to always forgive? I don’t think I trust her due to the trouble she’d gotten into, but OTOH, her husband recently left her, she’s lonely and may possibly be having other problems. Is it It a sin to remain hurt, holding a grudge all these years? Is it a sin to not pick up the friendship?
      Sent from my iPad
      Hi again Faith
      I hope your feeling better this evening.
      Life can be challenging for anyone of us at any given time, rest assured God is faithful and his promises are true. Getting caught up in the muck of this world is easy, recalling our role of loving God and neighbor sometimes only magnifies our failings, but while we were YET SINNERS CHRIST DIED FOR US!!! In other words our focus should not be the sin, although we recognize sin and confess our sin, our focus is that he who began a good work in you will be FAITHFUL to complete it. Trust in the Lord! Repent, confess your sin and embrace the victory of the risen Lord who died because of ALL OUR SINS!
      Getting back to your friend and avoiding her, maybe you continued to do so, that may be best, I don't know either of you specifically. Another tact is to let her her you're still hurting and explain why as graciously as you know how.

      To be continued, ran out of time again, be back later.

      Nic

      1Co 1:30 And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,
      1Co 1:31 so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Faith1960 View Post
        Is it a sin to still be mad and hurt over something a friend did waaaaay back in high school? I had a rough end to my senior year. Instead of my bf asking me to prom, he dumped me. Then around the same time a friend dumped me to hang out with another mutual friend I’d introduced her to. I was having a lot of personal problems and these two things just made things worse. Then, to top it off, I saw her a time or two a few years later and she didn’t even bother saying “hello”.

        Fast forward 41 years later......this friend and I have become Facebook friends. She’s gotten into trouble but hopefully has changed those ways.
        Shes asked me to lunch a few times but I’ve always made excuses for why I can’t meet up with them.
        i think I did tell her once about how hurt I was when she dumped our friendship in high school.

        Now SHE is having some personal problems and last night messaged me, asking if I wanted to hang out with her and the friend I introduced her to, whom she blew me off for. I lied and said I was going out to dinner when really, I’d just come home from dinner.

        Are we called to always forgive? I don’t think I trust her due to the trouble she’d gotten into, but OTOH, her husband recently left her, she’s lonely and may possibly be having other problems. Is it It a sin to remain hurt, holding a grudge all these years? Is it a sin to not pick up the friendship?
        Sent from my iPad
        I understand that if someone hurts you it may be hard to forgive them. I had a friend who introduced me to my husband and I to hers. I once said something to her. I didn't mean to hurt her but she has hated me since then. I've apologized several times but if our friends invite us both to their party she will not come if I do. She did one time and I cornered her and asked why she was mad at me. She told me what I said. Even when I heard it I didn't understand her being angry about it. That is when I apologized but she will not forgive me.

        Anyway, if you are chatting with her on Facebook maybe you can meet with her once. She hurt you long ago when you were teens. Things we do as kids are childish. Maybe if you meet her you could forgive her, if not you don't have to see her again.

        I don't think that if you don't confess your sins and ask for forgiveness that you are forgiven. We may have sins we aren't aware of and we confess that it may happen and ask Jesus to forgive them and he does. But if we don't confess sins we perform and are aware of then we are in trouble.
        Mark 9:24 Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

        “Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of spiritual things,
        but more frequently than not struggles against the divine Word, treating with contempt all that emanates from God.” ― Martin Luther


        Muretus "Call no man worthless for whom Christ died!"

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        • #5
          Thanks for your replies. They give me something to think about.

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