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where are the boundaries? limits?

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  • where are the boundaries? limits?

    1 Timothy 5:8 But if any do not take care of their relatives, especially the members of their own family, they have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.
    Deuteronomy 6:4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD [Jehovah] your God [Elohim] is one LORD [Jehovah].

  • #2
    Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post
    1 Timothy 5:8 But if any do not take care of their relatives, especially the members of their own family, they have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.
    Yep. Don't do that--not the way you want to meet your maker.

    But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (1 Ti 5:8).
    Last edited by serpentdove; 07-14-17, 12:02 PM.
    "Being a square keeps you from going around in circles." ~ J. Vernon McGee
    Ro 3:23, 5:8, 6:23, 10:9, 10:13

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    • #3
      and, where are the limits and boundaries?
      Deuteronomy 6:4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD [Jehovah] your God [Elohim] is one LORD [Jehovah].

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post
        and, where are the limits and boundaries?
        I don't know what you're talking about.
        "Being a square keeps you from going around in circles." ~ J. Vernon McGee
        Ro 3:23, 5:8, 6:23, 10:9, 10:13

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post
          and, where are the limits and boundaries?
          This would be where you will need to seek the wisdom of the Holy Spirit for your particular situation, since there are many variables that can be involved. If you're needing specifics in your particular situation, then post your situation so that we can better help you with clarity.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post
            and, where are the limits and boundaries?
            The story of the prodigal son says it all. It is only once the lost son repents and returns home to his Father will his needs be met and accepted. When our carnal children reject Christ and are adults, we must let them go they are as Cain, Esau, Ishmael and not of the Spirit as our brethren. Small children under our care are to be brought up in the Lord while we have dominion over their care. But once they move away separating themselves from our godly guidance we must let them go, but if they are not living right and they begin to suffer in life for their actions. We are not to chase after them, cleaning up their messes, keeping them afloat enabling them to die with out Christ in their life, for their OWN GOOD, out of the Love of God for their soul. Christ is our measure and our boundaries, for the Word tells us what is good. Caring for persons, does not just mean to provide stuff, but to teach them to be disciplined in God's ways training them up in the Word of Truth for integrity and godly character as the wisdom of God teaches us and is better than gold or rubies.

            We are not to be yoked in association with unbelievers other than to witness to them and we certainly are not to support their way of life!

            2 Corin.6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

            15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

            16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

            17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

            18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
            Last edited by afaithfulone4u; 07-14-17, 08:45 PM.
            The purpose of my posts are not to cause bicker or division, but to show truth from the scripture for edifying of the soul. It does not matter what we think, it is what God's Word says that matters.

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            • #7
              I am the care giver for eight family members, as such I am over burdened. My Brother decided that He can take care of our Mother(77). He has been draining her of all $700 that she gets each month and keeps over drawing her bank account. His Trailer burned down and he lost his girlfriend in it. He moved in with Mom. He has no job right now --- learning dis liabilities, not taking baths, wearing the same clothes all the time and baby talk like speech holds him back. At one time they both own a house and due to back taxes and no maintenance they lost both homes to the cities. When we ask them a question via phone, we never get a straight answer on anything.. We often catch them in counter fictions. They call us only when they need something. At this time both of their cars are broke down. Mom lost her divers license due to blindness. WE live in Brighton MI and they live in Romulus, MI over a hundred mile round trip.
              Deuteronomy 6:4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD [Jehovah] your God [Elohim] is one LORD [Jehovah].

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              • #8
                bump
                Deuteronomy 6:4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD [Jehovah] your God [Elohim] is one LORD [Jehovah].

                Comment


                • #9
                  Should one put money in the bank to cover their Mother's bounced checks?

                  Should one buy their brother anything he wants?

                  Should you send a family member advertisements without a note explaining why you sent it to them for things you want?
                  Deuteronomy 6:4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD [Jehovah] your God [Elohim] is one LORD [Jehovah].

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post
                    Should one put money in the bank to cover their Mother's bounced checks?

                    Should one buy their brother anything he wants?

                    Should you send a family member advertisements without a note explaining why you sent it to them for things you want?
                    Hi Daniel,

                    You are definitely in a very difficult situation, one that would be best addressed by meeting with your pastor and getting some godly counsel, all things considered. I can only imagine the stress and strain this situation puts upon you.

                    As far as answering your second question about buying your brother anything he wants, that is not what the scriptures are addressing in that passage nor would that be wise on your part, knowing all you do and his inability to be responsible, etc.

                    I'm not sure what you mean by your third question, but again, seeking counsel from your pastor about this situation as a whole would be the wisest counsel I could give you. I will pray for you, that the Lord will direct you and give you His wisdom in this difficult situation.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by krisjordan View Post

                      Hi Daniel,

                      You are definitely in a very difficult situation, one that would be best addressed by meeting with your pastor and getting some godly counsel, all things considered. I can only imagine the stress and strain this situation puts upon you.

                      As far as answering your second question about buying your brother anything he wants, that is not what the scriptures are addressing in that passage nor would that be wise on your part, knowing all you do and his inability to be responsible, etc.

                      I'm not sure what you mean by your third question, but again, seeking counsel from your pastor about this situation as a whole would be the wisest counsel I could give you. I will pray for you, that the Lord will direct you and give you His wisdom in this difficult situation.
                      Thank You,
                      Daniel

                      On first one, My wife insisted on having us put on her bank account because My brother was abusing it. Now, Mom writes him checks, overdraws and because we are on the account we feel responsible. As it turns out, if the Bank closes the account in the negative it kills our credit rating.

                      On the third one, My brother decides that he wants something, so he send us an ad for it in the mail, no note just his return address. We would call him to ask what is this all about. When he realizes that we will not buy it for him. He says, get that for me for Christmas. weird right??? He has sent three or four such ads this year already.

                      Deuteronomy 6:4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD [Jehovah] your God [Elohim] is one LORD [Jehovah].

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post
                        Should one put money in the bank to cover their Mother's bounced checks?

                        Should one buy their brother anything he wants?

                        Should you send a family member advertisements without a note explaining why you sent it to them for things you want?
                        The secret, of course is learning the DIFFERENCE between "Supporting"/"Helping", and "Enabling". "Helping" is GOOD, "Enabling" is always DESTRUCTIVE.

                        Three of my kids have jobs, and do their BEST to grow, mature, and support themselves and their families. from time to time we've had to "Bail them out" to one degree or another (which is a parent's job), but generally they're responsible and trustworthy, and have good families.

                        The Fourth one (adopted) is now 46 years old, has never held a job, hangs with riff-raff, steals, squanders, been married several times, gave away her kids, etc. ANY "support" in her direction beyond basic humanitarian support is TOTALLY WASTED, and only "Enables" her self destructive behavior.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post

                          Thank You,
                          Daniel

                          On first one, My wife insisted on having us put on her bank account because My brother was abusing it. Now, Mom writes him checks, overdraws and because we are on the account we feel responsible. As it turns out, if the Bank closes the account in the negative it kills our credit rating.

                          On the third one, My brother decides that he wants something, so he send us an ad for it in the mail, no note just his return address. We would call him to ask what is this all about. When he realizes that we will not buy it for him. He says, get that for me for Christmas. weird right??? He has sent three or four such ads this year already.
                          I would definitely seek council for this...it is an unfortunate situation, for sure. BTW -- You are not required to put your own family in jeopardy biblically in order to "help others" who are abusing it, family or not. This calls for wisdom and discernment. A godly pastor can help you and your wife navigate through this. I also agree with what Bob Carabbio wrote. God calls us to "help" not "enable." Big difference.

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                          • #14
                            My Doctor and Pastor both put me in touch with a ministry called love Inc., which coordinates charity in an area. From their record keeping they are able to discern those really in need and those who are takers. I asked them to visit them. I found out that there is a food pantry just four blocks from my Mothers' place and that Smart Bus is available to them less than a block away. Now, we need to get Mom a wheel chair so Larry can push her around to where she needs to go.
                            Deuteronomy 6:4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD [Jehovah] your God [Elohim] is one LORD [Jehovah].

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Daniel Marsh View Post
                              My Doctor and Pastor both put me in touch with a ministry called love Inc., which coordinates charity in an area. From their record keeping they are able to discern those really in need and those who are takers. I asked them to visit them. I found out that there is a food pantry just four blocks from my Mothers' place and that Smart Bus is available to them less than a block away. Now, we need to get Mom a wheel chair so Larry can push her around to where she needs to go.
                              Daniel, This scripture in James comes to mind. I would apply this to requests from your brother, is it something he needs, or just wants.

                              James 2:15,16 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food,and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?

                              Finding charity outreaches, as you're doing, is an excellent way to help with necessities above what you can afford without putting your own finances and help in jeopardy so that you might have to ask your mother and brother for help yourself.

                              Are there places there that would furnish a wheelchair for free or for very little money? That might be worth looking into.
                              Romans 10:1 Brethren, my heartís desire and my prayer to God for them is for their salvation. 2 For I testify about them that they have a zeal for God, but not in accordance with knowledge. 3 For not knowing about Godís righteousness and seeking to establish their own, they did not subject themselves to the righteousness of God. 4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.

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