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Being too picky can lead to extended singleness

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  • Being too picky can lead to extended singleness

    I think it is possible for some to be way too picky in their choice of a mate and as a result will be single for a long long time, or for good. Biblically speaking I dont find much support for those that want to match a partner based on common interests, personality types & traits, etc.. However there is much support for a couples complementing each other. Multiple good marriages have been formed in churches and via other venues besides online dating sites. While there is nothing wrong with online dating sites, they are not to be used over in person options.

    I myself am having to adjust my standards. I know there 50,000 dating & romance books out there, but if you want something Biblical you cannot error with anything written by John MacArthur and his staff. They tend to be among the best of authors today. Check out his book Right Thinking in a World Gone wrong and read the chapter on a match made in heaven. It may say more in its brief pages, than many other books do in 200 pages of nonsense!


    John

  • #2
    I wouldn't pick up anything by John MacArthur who teaches the damnable heresy of Lordship Salvation.
    17 In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two men is valid. 18 I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me." 19 Then they asked him, "Where is your father?" "You do not know me or my Father," Jesus replied. "If you knew me, you would know my Father also." 20 He spoke these words while teaching in the temple area near the place where the offerings were put. Yet no one seized him, because his time had not yet come.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by evangelist6589 View Post
      I think it is possible for some to be way too picky in their choice of a mate and as a result will be single for a long long time, or for good. Biblically speaking I dont find much support for those that want to match a partner based on common interests, personality types & traits, etc.. However there is much support for a couples complementing each other. Multiple good marriages have been formed in churches and via other venues besides online dating sites. While there is nothing wrong with online dating sites, they are not to be used over in person options.

      I myself am having to adjust my standards. I know there 50,000 dating & romance books out there, but if you want something Biblical you cannot error with anything written by John MacArthur and his staff. They tend to be among the best of authors today. Check out his book Right Thinking in a World Gone wrong and read the chapter on a match made in heaven. It may say more in its brief pages, than many other books do in 200 pages of nonsense!


      John

      I've read many a writings of John MacAuther and like him. Do I always agree with him, no, but then I never agree with a person 100 percent of the time.

      As for the single being too picky, I believe it depends on what the pickiness is about. As a man thinketh in his heart so is he. Instead of making a list of what one wants from a spouce, pray for Yah to prepare themselves for the one He has chosen for them. When getting to know someone, get to know them. What are their beliefs, what are their values, do they live what they speak? Is the other strong where one is weak, and visa versa? Are the desires of each hearts the same as in common goals for living? But before all of this, KNOW WHY "YOU" WANT TO GET MARRIED. And lastly but most importantly, will YHVH be first in the marriage? All of this has to be true and honest to one's self...not what one "thinks" it should be nor by what someone else says it should be....
      Joshua 1:7 “Only be very strong and courageous, to observe, to do, according to the entire Torah that Moses my servant commanded you; do not deviate from it to the right or to the left, in order that you may succeed wherever you will go.”

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by savedbygrace91 View Post
        I wouldn't pick up anything by John MacArthur who teaches the damnable heresy of Lordship Salvation.
        I take back what I said here 2 months ago. After studying John MacArthur, I actually agree with him on ALOT of things. I was mislead by someone who didn't actually know what the man taught.
        17 In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two men is valid. 18 I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me." 19 Then they asked him, "Where is your father?" "You do not know me or my Father," Jesus replied. "If you knew me, you would know my Father also." 20 He spoke these words while teaching in the temple area near the place where the offerings were put. Yet no one seized him, because his time had not yet come.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by savedbygrace91 View Post
          I take back what I said here 2 months ago. After studying John MacArthur, I actually agree with him on ALOT of things. I was mislead by someone who didn't actually know what the man taught.
          Share some thing different .

          Comment


          • #6
            I think I used to be very picky until I met my boyfriend. If someone compatible comes along, i think you wouldn't think about little details.

            Comment


            • #7
              You also have to remember that the person you'll eventually meet is going to meet somebody imperfect, too. Be wise, but don't have unrealistic expectations.
              “It is the Godfather, not God the Father, who makes you an offer you can’t refuse.”
              ― Peter Kreeft

              "When dealing only with text, things get lost in translation. Never assume to know the heart behind a question."
              - Me

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              • #8
                I think being picky can be a good thing, it'll mean that when you do get into a relationship it may be more solidified, just a thought. But it really depends what kind of picky and how picky your are

                Comment


                • #9
                  I believe that pickiness isn't necessarily a bad thing. For me I did have a list of reasonable qualities I wanted in a partner, and to be honest my current fiancé met all of them (LOL I didn't have to compromise at all). I will say that if you have a list, I would suggest 2 separate columns. One for Closed handed (Things that are deal breakers) and one for open handed (Things you that are not deal breakers). Yes I agree that being too picky can be a very bad thing, because you will have an unrealistic expectation for a mate.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You also have to remember that the person you'll eventually meet is going to meet somebody imperfect, too. Be wise, but don't have unrealistic expectations.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The hardest thing about being loved "As Is" is loving "As IS

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I'm 71 and single. I never got into the dating thing, just didn't get around to it. BTW, I don't mind being single; I don't feel "left out."

                        I know and have known many ladies and find their company pleasant, but never got interested enough to go beyond casual. One thing that I would avoid like the plague in a lady is their use of "like" every third word; that is just too irritating.
                        Allen (Unless noted otherwise, Bible quotations are from the 1984 edition of the NIV)

                        Faith--Sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and receives the impossible.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by evangelist6589 View Post
                          I think it is possible for some to be way too picky in their choice of a mate and as a result will be single for a long long time, or for good. Biblically speaking I dont find much support for those that want to match a partner based on common interests, personality types & traits, etc.. However there is much support for a couples complementing each other. Multiple good marriages have been formed in churches and via other venues besides online dating sites. While there is nothing wrong with online dating sites, they are not to be used over in person options.

                          I myself am having to adjust my standards. I know there 50,000 dating & romance books out there, but if you want something Biblical you cannot error with anything written by John MacArthur and his staff. They tend to be among the best of authors today. Check out his book Right Thinking in a World Gone wrong and read the chapter on a match made in heaven. It may say more in its brief pages, than many other books do in 200 pages of nonsense!


                          John
                          First thing to finding someone is stop looking. Don't give a crap what anythone thinks. Learn to love yourself as is, be comfortable being single. The naturally someone will be attracted to you. Just dropping your standards while all desperate will only end in disaster.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            1 Corinthians 7 gets to the wisdom of being married or single.

                            Comment

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