Do reformed believers ever discuss why they think some are left in their unsaved state?
Why would we need to "discuss" it?
God has answered that question very clearly in Scripture:
Rom. 9:20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? 22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, 23 in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory— 24 even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles?
- to show his warth.
- make known is power;
- demonstrated his patience;
- make known the riches of his glory;
How does reformed theology deal with the statements that indicate God wishes all to be saved?
That's a good question. The answer is that non-Calvinists ignore the context, often (IMO) because they don't know how to properly understanding passages in context, having seen so much modelling of "proof-texting" by quoting a half-verse or single-verse while ignoring the surrounding context.
I will quote three of the commonly-used proof-texts:
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
In "God so loved the world", the word, "so" doesn't mean, "so much" (although you could argue based on other passages how great God's love is).
"So" in this context means "in this particular manner". You can confirm this for yourself by comparing other translations (HCSB, ISV, Mounce, NET, NLT, Voice), or how the same Greek term is translated in other passages (eg. Matt. 1:18, 6:9, 17:12, Mark 2:12, Luke 15:7, etc. etc.). It is frequently translated in the KJV as "thus", and that would be a better rendering in John 3:16.
So in John 3:16, John is explaining "how" God is showing his love for "the world". He is showing His love "in this manner", "in this way":
"that whosoever believeth shall not perish,
but have everlasting life."
So the specificity of John 3:16 is that God saves "believers". He doesn't save "everyone", He only saves "believers". Preaches like to shout out, "whosoever!", but that's not the whole phrase, it is, "whosoever BELIEVETH", or more precisely, "every believing one".
"World" here does not mean, "every single individual" (a common misinterpretation), but it simply means, not only Jews, but Gentiles are included as well. It is an EXTENSION of one people group to include all other people groups, while not necessarily guaranteeing every "individual" within each groupo being among believers.
Now, this may sound like a LOT of argumentation to explain a single verse, and that's understandable, but it's only because we need to unpack all the baggage that non-Calvinists have added over the years.
2Pet. 3:8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
When non-Calvinists quote this verse, they never quote v.8, and they ignore the "us-ward" in v.9, both of which LIMIT the context, and preclude this from being a "universal" context.
At the beginning of the chapter, Peter is responding to Christians asking what they should do with the mockers and scoffers who suggest that Jesus is not coming. This is why Peter answers by saying, "a day is as a thousand years" (v.8), basically saying that it might seem like a long time for us, but it's not a long time for God. But God is not wishing ANY (of his beloved) to perish, and that is the reason for Christ's delay. If Christ had come in the first century, then many of His elect (you, me, Cooked Goose, SovereignGrace, etc.) would have been out of luck. We are all part of God's beloved, and so Christ has delayed His second coming until we have all come to Christ. And if Christ delays longer, it is only because there are more elect whom He is waiting for. There is a clear "us/them" distinction here, the "them" is being discussed in 3:1-5, while "us-ward" is being discussed in vv. 8-9. It is not "universal".
1Tim. 2:1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 2 For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. 3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; 4 Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.
Non-Calvinists love to quote verse 4 only, and ignore the rest of the passage, "who will have all men to be saved". So what does "all men" mean? They simply ASSUME that "all men" means, "every single individual", but that begs the question.
Paul uses the same phrase, "all men" in verse 1, and in that instance it refers to GROUPS of men ("kings", "those in authority", etc.). Paul demonstrated that he (and those around him) that the standard thinking is in "groups", not "individuals" ("rich", 'poor", "bond", "free", "male", "female", "Jew", Gentile"). Over and over again, the traditional understanding is that "salvation is of the Jews", but part of the gospel message is that salvation is extended to Gentiles as well, or "all men". To assume "all men" as 'all individuals" creates all kinds of problems, relating to doubts of God's actual will, His omnipotence, His omnscience, why does He not have the power to achieve His will, why does He allegedly "want" something that He already knows (through His omniscience) will never happen, etc. etc.
